I am so conflicted about this film… this case… this woman… that I am almost at a loss for words. She shot and killed her partner who was leaving her. She had shot and killed another woman who tried to leave before. My black and white mind is telling me that she should die. But once you see the story unfold  you feel your emotions go on a roller coaster ride that still shakes you up well after it is over.

Even though I watched the film already knowing that she was executed 10 years ago, I couldn’t help but have a perverted sense of faith that she would survive. A pit in my stomach began growing when I reminded myself that she wouldn’t.

I think that the tears that flowed as the movie went on were not only for her, but a result of my  inner conflict as to why this was making me cry. Why am I not crying for Gloria? Why am I not crying for Dedra (the woman she pistol whipped and killed 7 years earlier)? I would love to say that it is the excellent work of the documentarian but I’m afraid that might be too easy.

This case brought up questions that I am not sure I even want to ask myself about my community. Except for Jesse Jackson (who had a brief cameo in the documentary), where were the so-called black leaders who are supposed to be the watch guards of injustice? Why had I never heard about this until it was over? Did her being a lesbian make her less of a cause to be heralded? Was that something that Allen herself even knew?

The Reverend Robin Meyers, who served as a spiritual adviser to Allen, is quoted as saying, “I always suspected that Wanda’s renunciation of lesbianism had more to do with helping to revamp herself in the most palatable way for her clemency and appeal processes. She knew perfectly well that her being a lesbian was a big strike against her and that it’s an embarrassment in the black community. She was going to play the best hand that she could play at the very end.” (Source: Wikipedia )

Was Wanda Jean sentenced to death by lethal injection for murdering a woman, or for murdering her lesbian lover?

In a social media driven world, would she have even meritted a hash tag? Would she have had online petitions signed? Would they have sold her shirts?

Or is this simply a case of a two time murderer that got her just desserts? Am I the one that is seeing things through cracked lenses because she is African-American and because she is a lesbian. I just don’t know. Unfortunately this is the kind of case that will not ever answer these questions, merely pose them.

*fade to black*

Add it to your Netflix Queue

If you or someone you love is a victim of Domestic Violence, please have them visit http://www.thehotline.org/ 1−800−799−SAFE(7233)  or TTY 1−800−787−3224.

Whether you make it rain (or drizzle) on my goal or not I want you to know some facts that I recently learned about the HIV/AIDS epidemic in South Florida.

Thanks to Joe from Care Resource  for reminding me of some things I did know and hipping me to some that I didn’t.

1.  AIDS Walk Miami has raised over $2 million since starting 24 years ago .  86 cents (or 86%) of every dollar raised goes directly to fund Care Resource and Food for Life Network HIV/AIDS services in Miami-Dade and Broward counties.  All the funds are used locally in Miami-Dade and Broward.

2.  Even though HIV/AIDS treatment is becoming increasingly effective, Miami-Dade and Broward rank #1 and #2 in the nation in new HIV infections.  That’s very alarming news to our community.  We have to slow it down.

And to my 3.5 straight blog readers, trust me it isn’t only US that are accounting for the number. HIV/AIDS is not a gay issue… not a IV drug user issue… this is a PEOPLE issue.

3. With recent cuts in federal funding, many people living in Miami-Dade and Broward can not afford medical care and treatment and need our help.  Care Resource does not turn anyone away; they treat anyone regardless of their ability to pay.

As a result of last year’s Walk, Care Resource was able to do the following in 2011:

• Service over 18,000 client encounters
• Deliver over 40,000 meals to home-bound clients
• Perform over 12,000 HIV and STD screenings
• Actively participate in 13 HIV/AIDS clinical trials
• Grow pediatric care and dental services

* I am so happy that my original goal was already surpassed by two AWESOME folks that wanted to remain anonymous and had no problem giving me a dollar.*

This is my first walk/run ever so ummm yeah I’m a bit nervous. That plus the fact that I didn’t readily realize 5K is 3 miles in change when I signed up. (Damn Metric System and Public School Education)…

All the money raised will help provide services to over 9,000 of our friends, family, co-workers and neighbors affected/infected with HIV/AIDS in both Miami-Dade and Broward counties. This annual fundraiser also serves as a vital vehicle to raise awareness and funds to combat the effect HIV/AIDS continues to have on the South Florida region.

Thank you in advance for joining in the fight with me. Soooo… yeah Give me a Dollar… or 5… yeah let’s say at least 5. *side eye*

Follow This Link to visit my personal web page and help me in my efforts to support Care Resource.

Am I missing some? I know there are some regional labels that only two blocks and a corner bar of lesbians know. My question is why? And moreso why is it that Black lesbians seem to be so much more obsessed than “other folks”.

I have a couple of thoughts/theories that have come to me that I want to share. Feel free to tell me your thoughts and I will feel free to ignore you if you come at me crazy (I’m just being honest, you know some of y’all don’t know how to talk to people).

Not exactly the Brady Bunch..

Contrary to what many of us like to think Black lesbians are some of the most conservative people in the world. Though many of us didn’t grow up in two parent households, most of us were taught that that is the ideal family structure. Come on who didn’t want to be the Huxtables? Even if in our perfect scenario Heathcliff is replaced by Heather. Add that with the lessons we were taught in the big church (in between passing notes that is) and it is only natural that we bring those ideals into our adult relationships. Even if Daddy is spelled D-A-D-D-I.

Oh My God Becky Look At Those Dykes…

I guess I never realized how divisive labels in the black community in general, and the homosexual community specifically, were until I started hanging out with more white lesbians. No No No this is not going to be the “White is Right” portion of the post but it does seem that overdosing on labels is a black epidemic. If you go to the white lesbian parties and bars you see PLENTY of women hugging and dancing with women that have the same Justin Bieber haircut and brown Birkenstocks. Two women together… not much of shocker. But let two black lesbians with low boys and bowties walk in the club, you can hear the whispers from the cheap seats. In a world where everyone is telling us who we should love, why must we do it among ourselves? Does it actually make you feel better to be in a “regular” lesbian relationship?

*side eye*

And I am not even going to try and touch why two femmes being together is soooo hot and two studs being together is soooo not? But I will say one word: PORN

Forget the A-a-a-a-alcohol. Blame it on the Facebook… and Twitter… and Downelink… and…hell Blame Myspace

In a world where 15% of the time we spend online is spent checking Facebook, it makes sense that it is becoming the birthplace of a lot of our friend and love relationships. Maybe we use all the uber specific labels to skip steps in relationship building. A/S/L no longer mean Age/Sex/Location. It now means Age/Status/Label. It’s a lot easier using a one or two word label to define someone when getting to know them than to take the time to delve into the idiosyncrasies of that individual.

Heck let’s take it a step further. Maybe this is why labels are more prevalent with newly “out” lesbians. Is it easier to define yourself when you have a label that tells you how you are to navigate your new identity? Maybe labels are a useful tool that we use until we are secure enough in ourselves and our lifestyles to do away with them…

Brain freeze… Kinda like when you drink a Slurpee too fast...

*turns the mic to you* Thoughts? Tweet me @kristiweb

But once I read her words my heart became flooded with several emotions, and anxiety was definitely not one. Pride. Pain. Passion.

Yes. Bravo Sinead. Bravo.

22.03.12 Treyvon Martin

I would like to extend my very deepest sympathies to the family and other loved ones of murdered teenager, Treyvon Martin. I am very sad today (and am certain the whole of Ireland is) to learn of poor Treyvon’s terrifying ordeal and horrified by the fact his known and named and admitted killer has not been arrested, despite the crime having taken place a month ago. This is a disgrace to the entire human race.

For those out there who believe black people to be less than pure royalty, let me inform you of a little known, but scientifically proven, many times over, FACT. Which after reading, you will hopefully feel both very stupid and very sorry. For you dishonor your own mothers and grandmothers.

EVERY human being on earth, no matter what their culture, creed, skin colour, or nationality, shares one gene traceable back to one African woman. Scientists have named it ‘The Eve Gene’. This means ALL of us, even ridiculously stupid, ignorant, perverted, blaspheming racists are the descendants of one African woman.

One African woman is the mother of all of us. Africa was the first world. You come from there! Your skin may be ‘white’.. because you didn’t need it to be black any more where you lived. But as Curtis Mayfield said.. “You’re just the surface of our dark, deep well”. So you’re being morons. And God is having the last laugh at your ignorant expense.

If you hate black people, its yourself you hate. And the mother who bore you. If you kill or wish ill on black people, its yourself you kill and wish ill on. As well as the mother who bore you.

When you dishonor the the utter glory and majesty of black people, you lie. Your heart lies to you and you let it. Despite seeing every day, all your life, how you and your country would be less than wonderfully functioning and inspiring to the world, without the manifold and glorious contributions made by the descendants of African slaves, who did not by the way actually ask to go to America and leave their future families there to be disrespected for eternity.

Read the rest on her website here

This documentary takes a look at six contenstants in the world’s first ever Most Beautiful Transexual pageant. Released back in 2007, it was definitely a trailblazing effort. Now granted it doesn’t have all the juicy catfighting of Untucked but it does give you the “believe in yourself”, “love yourself”, “be yourself” warm fuzzy feeling that any good LGBT flick must have.

The only thing that reminds you that you are watching a documentary about transexuals as opposed to America’s Next Top Model was their perfection. Who looks like that… without photoshop that is. These girls were beat for the cheap seats honey. (I think I stole that line from MUA @aprilantoinette but I can’t remember). They were tucked and taped and peeled to a T.

Okay maybe peeled was a stretch… and then again maybe not.

Irregardless (I can never remember if that is a real word of not)  it was a great docu-movie. I have to admit some of their choices in the end confused the HELL OUT OF ME. The black one in the top 8 was MUCH better looking then either of the runner-ups. And the fact that Tiara (the one name I remember) didn’t make the top 8 was a trans-vesty.

Okay maybe that wasn’t as witty a play on words as I had thought.

I think I better stop while I am ahead…

At least I am ahead in my own tabulation. *side eye*

Here’s a clip.

*PS I just watched the clip…. it was not indicative of the movie. It was sappy in a tooth-ache kind of way… the movie was much better.

To my 3 and 1/2 straight readers:

Don’t trip, you will be surprised how quickly you go from “Oh my Lord that’s a man…” to “Oh my Lord, she is such a slut”.  (And yes some of those heffas may not have been sluts… but they were definitely slut-ish)

Add it your Netflix queue

For the last few months I have been working with the National Gay and Lesbian Taskforce for Women’s Winter Party which was a HUGE success, (YAY!). I am also dipping my toe back into corporate America after two years of working FMBM. (Side note: Do people still wear FUBU? #NoTeaNoShade). In the last week or so I have gotten several “Are you still blogging” sideeyes from friends and foes alike so I am really going to get back on the ball.

One of my first blogs will be tackling the “urban” (I love that word) and not-so-urban lezzie scene in Miami. I am not a promoter and I don’t make any money from sharing these events so please know that whatever I share is straight from the K Word without filters. So until then just know I’m baaack, still black, and still enjoying the delicacy of the GF’s p*ssy… What too much?

Edit: Ok I lied… There are plenty of people that share the Miami nightlife with you… that actually attend the events they discuss. Check out @6Flavas_WM and @miamimollys depending on what side of the urban coin you want to land on.

*shrugs*

Kristi the Lesbian was not some stranger or a closet case, so when I told her THE GIRLFRIEND was coming by after Thanksgiving I didn’t expect much of a conversation. She said ok. She actually bought some things so that we would be comfortable if she stayed over… in one bed. When THE GIRLFRIEND came in town we went to dinner together, we laughed and joked, my mom even invited her to her 65th birthday weekend in the mountains… where we would again share one bed. All was happy in the Kristiweb family…. until the day before Christmas.

Now I am not sure what happened between the turkey and the Cornish hens (oh yes Kristiweb cooks hun-tee) BUT as my mom and I were walking in the mall she simply says “Is this permanent?”

“Huh?”

“This thing with you and the girl is it permanent?”

Now in true Kristi fashion I said “She sure hopes so”. I’m just saying…

She rolled her eyes, I laughed and kept it moving… until Christmas.

I guess the Cornish hens (yes I’m still talking about the daggone hens) weren’t the only thing cooking overnight.

“I have to let you know that I might make [insert my niece’s name] the executor of my estate because if you can make these decisions I don’t know what else you will decide”

**NO SHADE INTENDED** But are we talking about the 20 year old niece with two children born 10 months apart?… Ma’am have a seat.

I sat there for a minute and simply said “Ok”

I think that threw her off because she went on to say “I just don’t want you to be out of favor of God”

I guess if money doesn’t work try bargaining with my eternal soul. *deeper side eye*

To which I said this (or something like this). “Mom I love you so let me say that first BUT not only is my relationship with THE GIRLFRIEND based in my love for her but also in my love for God. It is very dangerous when people start using passages in the bible to fit into their preconceived notions. It leads to wars… people enslaved… and murder. And whatever you think God is about, He isn’t about that. I found a woman I can pray with and pray for. And if that wasn’t what God meant when discussing our need for a helpmate I don’t know what it is”

“Well I don’t want you to do this because you are settling since you haven’t found a good man”

To which I said this (or something very similar). “Mom let me be 100% with you, trust me there are plenty of nice men that would love to be dating and married to me. I have many guys putting in applications all the durn time(some of them are reading this blog… but I digress)! But they ain’t her and that means they aren’t what I want.”

“Well I know I haven’t been the best example for you…”

Really lady, guilt… I love you but… guilt…

“I love you. I loved my father. You are a great example of a lot of things but this is not about what you did or didn’t do. This really isn’t about you at all. You should be proud that I loved you enough to introduce you to her… that I loved her enough to introduce you to her. That I wanted you to see how happy your daughter is…. That I have someone that treats me the way that I should be”

She went back to sweeping. Sidenote… why does my mother feel the need to clean MY HOUSE her way… Ma’am have another seat.

A week later she sends me a text (Yes I taught my mom how to text)

I’m a good listener and I trust you. I love you.

Mmmm hmm… that and you didn’t want to leave that much money in the hands of a child who still watches Disney Channel. You ain’t slick.

1) Bros before Hoes should have been in the Ten Commandments… Okay maybe that came out a little more blasphemous than I meant it to but… it is definitely stone tablet worthy. I don’t know when that cardinal rule became up for discussion but umm not so much. Maybe I hold people I consider friends to a higher standard than they deserve. Maybe it’s because Kristi don’t love these hoes. But whatever the reason, there is just certain sh*t we don’t do. If you have to ask… Houston we have a problem.

2) Behind every good woman is a dumb ex girlfriend who wishes they hadn’t screwed things up…. I would comment more but… That pretty much said it all.

3) Don’t treat dating like busy work. You know how when you were in school the teacher would give you stacks of busy work to keep you occupied between lessons. I have been notorious for dating (if that’s what you call it) women that I wasn’t really interested in to keep myself busy between real relationships. I almost missed out on the woman of my dreams (who is now the woman of my reality) because I had my nose down working feverishly on my busy work. No bueno…

Wait… *looks around* Not to say that what is busy work to one person isn’t a doctoral thesis to others. *pause* Did that clean up what I meant to say… *side eye* Because I was reallllly trying to clean it up. *shrugs*

4) If people (especially around the holidays) start the whole diatribe that being a homosexual is against God and you sit there looking crazy like you don’t know what to say I want you to BOTH have a seat… and pick up a bible. I am so sick of people thinking they can talk all out of the side of their mouths about lesbians because not enough lesbians know how to stand up for themselves and their community. Lovebugs there is more to being a lesbian than eating pussy. And yes that is unfair but… It is what it is.

Damn I always like to have multiples of fives if I am listing things um….

5) The best sex results in bruises….

Listening to: Sinnerman by Nina Simone
Drinking: Belvedere Red and Cranberry Juice

Blogged from my iPad