Coming Out Redux… A Holiday Story

Yeah so I had to come out again since it appears the first time didn’t take… *side eye*

Now keep in mind my mom has spoken to exes, heard me talk about them when they got on my nerves and even made the comment “Well I guess the money I was saving for your wedding can go to something else” *double side eye*

Kristi the Lesbian was not some stranger or a closet case, so when I told her THE GIRLFRIEND was coming by after Thanksgiving I didn’t expect much of a conversation. She said ok. She actually bought some things so that we would be comfortable if she stayed over… in one bed. When THE GIRLFRIEND came in town we went to dinner together, we laughed and joked, my mom even invited her to her 65th birthday weekend in the mountains… where we would again share one bed. All was happy in the Kristiweb family…. until the day before Christmas.

Now I am not sure what happened between the turkey and the Cornish hens (oh yes Kristiweb cooks hun-tee) BUT as my mom and I were walking in the mall she simply says “Is this permanent?”

“Huh?”

“This thing with you and the girl is it permanent?”

Now in true Kristi fashion I said “She sure hopes so”. I’m just saying…

She rolled her eyes, I laughed and kept it moving… until Christmas.

I guess the Cornish hens (yes I’m still talking about the daggone hens) weren’t the only thing cooking overnight.

“I have to let you know that I might make [insert my niece’s name] the executor of my estate because if you can make these decisions I don’t know what else you will decide”

**NO SHADE INTENDED** But are we talking about the 20 year old niece with two children born 10 months apart?… Ma’am have a seat.

I sat there for a minute and simply said “Ok”

I think that threw her off because she went on to say “I just don’t want you to be out of favor of God”

I guess if money doesn’t work try bargaining with my eternal soul. *deeper side eye*

To which I said this (or something like this). “Mom I love you so let me say that first BUT not only is my relationship with THE GIRLFRIEND based in my love for her but also in my love for God. It is very dangerous when people start using passages in the bible to fit into their preconceived notions. It leads to wars… people enslaved… and murder. And whatever you think God is about, He isn’t about that. I found a woman I can pray with and pray for. And if that wasn’t what God meant when discussing our need for a helpmate I don’t know what it is”

“Well I don’t want you to do this because you are settling since you haven’t found a good man”

To which I said this (or something very similar). “Mom let me be 100% with you, trust me there are plenty of nice men that would love to be dating and married to me. I have many guys putting in applications all the durn time(some of them are reading this blog… but I digress)! But they ain’t her and that means they aren’t what I want.”

“Well I know I haven’t been the best example for you…”

Really lady, guilt… I love you but… guilt…

“I love you. I loved my father. You are a great example of a lot of things but this is not about what you did or didn’t do. This really isn’t about you at all. You should be proud that I loved you enough to introduce you to her… that I loved her enough to introduce you to her. That I wanted you to see how happy your daughter is…. That I have someone that treats me the way that I should be”

She went back to sweeping. Sidenote… why does my mother feel the need to clean MY HOUSE her way… Ma’am have another seat.

A week later she sends me a text (Yes I taught my mom how to text)

I’m a good listener and I trust you. I love you.

Mmmm hmm… that and you didn’t want to leave that much money in the hands of a child who still watches Disney Channel. You ain’t slick.

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