Whatta Man Whatta Man Whatta Man…. But No I Don’t Want To Have His Baby

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Now for those who know me, or cared enough to read my introduction, we all know I used to date men for many years. So every blue moon I come across one I haven’t seen in while.  In most cases they are those Hi and Bye exchanges where we lie about keeping in contact.

No shade to these guys but I treat all exes the same, be it ex-friends or ex-relationships, if we wanted to keep in contact we would have. *shrugs*.

ANYWAY, two weeks or so ago, I decided to log into an inactive Facebook account. I saw a few friend requests from old classmates and some random spam accounts. No surprises.  I quickly hit approve and logged back off.

Monday I logged back into the account to download a cute picture that I had found. While scanning my inbox, I saw a message from “Mr. Ex”. Let me give you a quick background on Mr. Ex. I was a freshman in college, trying to “find myself”, and he was a sweet, handsome brother of a friend on campus. Cool. It didn’t last long and it wasn’t a bad breakup, he kinda went his way and I went mine. I linked up with him again right after graduation and we hung out, but nothing came of it (obviously).

Fast forward 8 years to the message you see above…

I promise you I had to read the message twice to make sure that I hadn’t lost my grip on the human language. Did he really just ask me to have his kid? Like hey girl it’s been forever, let me insert some sperm into you for old times sake. Am I the only one that thinks that is FREAKING ODD? What did he expect me to say? Why of course! Not even considering the “lesbian thing”, what straight girl would have jumped on that offer (pun intended)? I know straight people… I have a lot of straight friends and even they aren’t into stuff like that.

Needless to say I won’t be shopping at Baby R’ Us anytime soon o_O. But I am curious to know whether any of you have stories like this one?

Email me kristi at thekword dot com.

… and we are the ones who are only allowed to get married in 12 states… Tut!

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