I feel like I am in a perpetual state of wedding plans.
No you all haven’t missed anything, I only have the same ring (that I liked and put on myself).
✔ The Bridal Shower is Done (chiiiiile that is a story I will have to tell over drinks)
✔ The Dress is On and Popping (chiiiiile that is another story I will have to tell over the second round of drinks)
✔ The Post Wedding Toast is ready to go (kinda… hell I am creative… and probably will be drunk)
Anyway since I am in wedding overload, of course, my brain wandered over to my own nuptials2.
I was always that girl that wanted a cathedral train and a bevy of attendants ready to help me get down the aisle. I just knew it would be conducted at my childhood church, where I had played under pews and received at least two of my most memorable whoopings3.
Certain things were for sure. My mom would cry. My brothers would fight over who walks me down the aisle. 4 I would look freaking beautiful in my dazzling white gown and someone that loved me would be waiting to make me theirs (and vice versa of course). I will say that at the time I pictured them wearing Flip Top glasses and craving prune cobbler… but I digress5
Fine judge me…
Then life changed and I was able to make honest decisions about how and who I wanted to love. And though it opened me up to the possibility of a true partnership and forever family, I kinda gave up on my dream wedding. There was no wedding for me. Lesbians did commitment ceremonies, which just isn’t the same thing * shrugs *. My mom even gave me access to “Kristi’s wedding savings account” because as she cavalierly (and admittedly coldly) said… I didn’t need one.
Now this was after the Coming Out redux situation, and she has grown more since then but… yeah that’s what she said.
*Off topic alert*
Fast forward another 5 years and she is asking me when I am going to make her grandbabies and giving me advice on how to make things work with my EX-gf.
Hearts sure do soften when you realize my clock is running out of sand.
And if there was ANY question about my response to her EX advice, I said in my best Bishop Bullwinkle voice, “HELL TO THE NAH NAH NAH”
Stay on target Kristi. Stay on target.6
So yeah… thanks to POTUS and the (mostly)rich (mostly)white gays that made the repeal of DOMA possible, I am thinking about my own nuptials. And while my mother will still cry and my brothers still fight over me, there are very few things that I am still certain of.
Where will it be? It can’t be at my church (or most churches), so who needs a cathedral train? My bevy of attendants has dwindled down to maybe 5 who would be willing to participate. And I am too old and my blog too detailed to dare wear white. The only thing I have left is the hope that the person I love will be at the other end. I guess that is what it is all about anyway.
Hmm maybe courthouse ceremony with a kick ass after party it is.
What are you wedding dreams? Or for those with both ball and chain, what did you do?
Kristi K is the K of the KWord. She is a part-time blogger and full-time lezzie. Born, bred and cultivated in Dade county, you can usually find her sipping super juice at a local hole in the wall bar or stirring up trouble on Twitter at @kristiweb.
- Or something like that… I’m not great with date math. Also she is marrying a man, because heteros deserve love too ↩
- I know there is AT LEAST one woman who just read that with a screw face… umm calm down lovely. I am not subscribing to Brides.com just yet ↩
- Before that was all illegal and stuff… ↩
- Like fight fight… like worldstarhiphop fight ↩
- Don’t front… Mr. Ka-nee-she-wah could have gotten all of this prepubescent love and devotion. ↩
- Ok we all now I didn’t say Hell to the anything to Joyce. She ain’t about that life… well I ain’t about that life. ↩