“Well 6 years too long but I am glad you left his broke ass Shemar Moore stunt double looking ass alone. Glorayyyy! Won’t He do it?” Toni whooped and hollered before breaking into a fake praise dance.
“Toni you are so extra. I was only with him for 5 years and you know that” I sighed deeply as I plopped on her couch and looked at yet another message from David. This was the 25th message that this negro had sent since I left. They ranged from remorse to anger and I was over it.
“Yes I know that and you should have spent the extra year smudging sage and praying that demon from coming in your life heffa.” she spat grabbing my phone as it rang.
“Look here pussy nigga. Don’t call this motherfucking phone again with your infected ass penis. I am going to have to Lysol my goddamn ear for even talking to your ass. Now Sis and I are about to get her some new dick. Well at least get her titties sucked since your nasty ass passing out diseases. And one more thing when I see you it is ON SIGHT. I am going to chop your useless big Paul Bunyan ass down to size. All that height and a 5 inch dick with no girth. At least my bitch is leaving your ass with intact walls. Fuck out of here.”
I looked over at Toni with my mouth wide open as this bitch sat there drinking a bottle of water and scrolling through Instagram like she wasn’t just reading that man his rights. I don’t even know why I pretended to be surprised anymore. Toni did not give a damn about what she said or how she said it. She was down for the get down at a moment’s notice. Even though she was from New York, you couldn’t tell her that she wasn’t a Southern belle from somebody’s country club. She was very nice and would do anything for anyone in need. But when you crossed her, or even worse me, she would had no problem setting the city on fire. This was one of things about her that I loved.
“Close your mouth heffa. Put something on. We have to meet Joy in about 15 minutes and I don’t want hear her trap with her extra sensitive ass”.
“Tee I don’t want to go anywhere. Can’t I just sit here and mourn my lost love and eat ice cream? I know they have Waiting to Exhale on Firestick.” I pouted with my eyes closed for effect.
When I opened them back up , Toni was no longer in the living room.I walked into her bathroom to find her wand curling her hair in the mirror.
“What are you doing?”
She looked up at me with pursed lips like I was getting on her nerves.
“I’m getting my ass ready to go out with your stanking ass in 13 minutes. Now if you want to look who shot John feel free but I am trying to catch me some new new. Now scram.” she said flatly as she went back to primping in the mirror
Good thing I had thrown something presentable in my bag before I left. 10 minutes later I was ready to go. Ever since I came from home from college I had decided to stop with the relaxers and let my hair go natural. Though I normally kept my hair braided under some bundles, this would be one of my in-between days. I tied my hair up with a colorful head wrap, and put my bamboo earrings in my ear. I put a touch of bronzer on my cheek, double downed on my mascara, and made sure my lip gloss was extra popping on my full lips. I paired a simple chocolate brown bodysuit that looked like it was melted to my skin with a pair of cropped boyfriend jeans and wedge sandals that tied at the ankle. I popped my lips on more time and sprayed myself with my Coco Noir perfume.
When I walked into the living room, I had to do a double take because my best friend was looking like a whole meal, forget about looking like a snack. Toni is an absolutely gorgeous woman. She is a 5’9 amazon goddess with a light complexion that made everyone think she was mixed. She hated when people asked her that and was quick to tell them she was blackity black black. She parted her wand curled golden brown bob so it framed her perfectly made up face. My girl was beautiful naturally but as a makeup artist she always said her face was her calling card. She had on black high waist short with a red bra that matched her lipstick, and black blazer. The nude pumps she rocked with it made her long ass legs look even longer.
“Oh so you are really out here trying to catch for real. I thought that we were having drinks to make meeeeee feel better”.
“Well getting new dick will make me happy, and as my friend me being happy in turn makes you happy so… let’s get to it”
I rolled my eyes as I grabbed my black Chanel clutch and hurried to the car because I know once her shoes were on Toni would have no problem leaving my ass.