Not Even a Nibble… My @PlentyofFish Two Week Status Update

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Sooo I have been on Plenty of Fish for two weeks… and I am bored. Not bored, but I’m not really into it. It’s not the lack of people trying to get all up in this *ghetto girl voice* but…  meh. I talk to these people back and forth online for about a zillion messages and then what? Either we stop communicating completely or we taper off to a message every couple of days… ok.

No sparks. No butterflies. No… nothing. Where is my snarky, irreverent counterpart? Where is the Pinky to my Brain *insert a big forehead joke here*

Here’s a recap of my first 14 days on Plenty of Fish…

1. I was catfished out of the gate by someone I am pretty sure is a man… I might be wrong but s/he definitely wasn’t the Russian pornstar whose picture s/he stole.

2. I have seen a total of 8 people that I know in real life, which mean 8 people I know in real life know I have a POF account. Not sure how I feel about that…

3. I read that book “S/he’s Just Not That Into You”. If you respond in 1-2 sentences, where I am writing a paragraph (Y’all know how I am), I am going to chalk that up to you aren’t interested… If I wanted to write to myself I would start a blog… see what I did there.

4. I don’t want anyone I meet there to read this damn blog. I know it’s hard to be anonymous when every other post I say my name but… I want to ease any new friend/relationshipee into it. No one wants to meet someone knowing their business could be in the street any moment.

With that being said, I made the decision to try and hang out with one of my fishies. It’s not a love connection, she’s not really my type (I don’t date uber feminine women), but she seems really nice. She is college educated, career driven, attractive… someone I wish I had a friend to hook her up with. We will see what she says.

Until then… at least I can check my inbox during commercials.

 

 

 

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I’ve been catfished on @PlentyofFish already!

Soooooooo I can’t believe it happened this quickly. Remember my last post (yes the one that I literally posted an hour ago — go read it again for kicks) when I called out one of my POF girls as a possible catfish and the other one as a lame? Well I was right (kinda). The lame is definitely a lame.. a catfishy lame!!! How do I know you ask?

Google images strikes again!

See I was sitting here e-chatting with the new homie KD about catfish and POF when I decided to get my Max on. Nah I don’t want to be Nev he is too much of a punk (and a sloppy drunk from the word on the street). Max has the right mix of snark and spark to make me feel right at home.

Just to jog your memory this is Little Miss Lame-o.2013-08-31 18.56.43

Her profile says she is a 40 year old that lives in the Crossings (a neighborhood not far from mine).

Red flag #1 – She doesn’t look a damn thing like 40

Well Reg flag #1 really was her asking me if I was into women, when it is clearly on my profile. But at the time that just confirmed her lameness *shrugs* not her evil deception *cue villian music*

Well like I said, as I was getting my Max on, I decided to drop the images of all the women I had met into Google Image search. The first two passed with flying colors as I expected. I just knew the gorgeous Latina from across town was going to come up as a fake but no she was clean too. I dropped Miss Lame-o in for kicks and lo and behold…. dun dun dun

THIS

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Ain’t that bout a biscuit ? This broad (or should I say person because I have no idea if they are indeed even a woman) not only picked a ho as their picture but an international ho… I guess she said she was going to do it real big. I halfway want to write back to her now, but I refuse to be messy in my old age.

This does however lead me to wonder, being that this took me all of 5 minutes to uncover… how in the heck are people getting catfished for 5 years?